Being a Woman in India
"man or bear?" -bear they chose without hesitation.
The so called Indian “family-oriented” men if truth be told are actually shameless hungry animals full of lust lacking basic human decency and courtesy. These perverts day and night partake in catcalling, groping, molesting and assaulting women. How many of us women can say that we have never experienced something of this sort?
Imagine stepping out just to buy groceries and you have random men ogling you up and down with thirsty eyes, whistling at you, calling you names and sexualizing every bit of you. The thought of it makes one gag right ? but this is what us, Indian women go through every other day. Imagine being in a metro and men touching you inappropriately under the justification of the metro being overly crowded. Imagine having your body fully covered with baggy clothes and men still staring at you, smirking and passing insensitive comments. Imagine being scared to enter an elevator with a man and imagine having to take the longer routes just to be a little more safer. These are just few examples but females take myriad of such measures whereas the men don’t even have to bother or think twice.
Why do men consider everything as ‘she is asking for it’ ? - No we are not asking for it when we wear short outfits, we are not asking for it when we play with our hair, we are not asking for it when we smile. If we really wanted something we would have implied it. Men need to stop feeding their brains normal human gestures as a hint targeted towards them.
Why do men not respect boundaries? Are we their puppets? Why do we self doubt ourselves thinking that maybe we judged the guy wrong and he was actually just minding his own business? Why are we made to think that its our fault somewhere? Why do we allow them to palliate from their dirty deeds? And don’t even get me started on all those stupid narratives- “men have their needs”, “not all men”, “nature has designed men to be dominant” blah, blah..
Every single day newspapers contain atleast one article regarding rape, assault, molestation, domestic abuse, acid attacks against women. Neither an 8 month old girl (a girl who couldn’t even talk or walk got raped by her own cousin brother when her genitals were premature) nor an 80 yr old lady (a lady whose body barely supports her at that age got raped way past her fertility age) is safe in our country.
Girls get raped and molested in broad daylight and in the quiet of the eerie nights. They not only get raped in their school, college, offices but also at temples, police stations and their own apartments(places which are considered holy and relatively safer). These barbarians leave no stone unturned as they go to the extent of monstrously torturing and killing them- the pain of which we can’t even fathom. How many candles are we going to light to fade the darkness in the lives of the victims and their families? Who decides how many candles are enough? Will protesting restore their lives? Where does this end?
As far as I'm concerned, whenever I'm out late there's always an apprehension in my mind of something going wrong- If I am walking back alone at night I look back after every step, I pray for nothing to go wrong, I feel frightened to my core. I feel intimidated by the drunk men with heinous intentions in their eyes. I can’t even describe how uncomfortable and sickening it feels- all you would want is to run away and draw out their eyeballs but at the same time you are vulnerable and powerless to do anything at all.
Why do I need to share my cab details and live location with my dad? Why do I need to carry pepper spray? Why can't I go home without men lurking around me ? Why am I so afraid of someone following me ? Why do I have to think twice before uttering “NO” to a guy just because it will likely hurt his ego and he might end up wronging me just to seek revenge? What do men even think of themselves? Who gave them the rights to ever think that we are their pleasure toys? Men don't want characterless women in their houses but they are okay with leaving other women subject to character morality? Do they not think that it is fundamentally wrong to outrage a woman’s modesty? Do they not realise what ‘CONSENT’ is? How is literally one half of the population afraid of the other half? Why have we given our men so much power?
I argue with my parents as to why do they not allow me late night parties and why do I have a strict 11pm curfew but are they really at fault? Wouldn't I be cynical too if I had a daughter? In today’s world generally the assaulter is someone known of the victim so how can our drivers, male friends, policemen, boyfriend, cousin, uncle or anyone be trusted at all? It all happens just once, on one gloomy day but it leaves everyone shook all because a guy couldn’t keep it in his pants. How is it that in this 21st century we plan to move to mars, have these flying cars and modern innovations when we cant even protect the ones who will carry forward the human race?
India is so backward in female safeguarding that I have just accepted it to never change and me always having to take the utmost precautions and them still never being enough. None of us are ever safe. So many years since when our society has been progressing and still no fear instilled in the minds of the rapists, no fear in the vulgar porn addicts and no stringent rules for justice of the victims. In Indian culture, lady figures are worshipped as devis but the same ladies are also left assaulted and helpless on the streets infact often killed. What a hypocrisy- from protecting your sisters to violating the privacy of other’s sisters. Its so terrifying to know that these predators roam around freely next to us with such vicious thoughts about us in their minds and no stringent laws and reforms can ever change this scenario until this orthodox mindset of curbing one gender and giving all the freedom to the other gender is not changed. There is no reason why men should have an upper hand in the society. Teach your sons, brothers, boyfriend, husband to treat women with respect. Teach them about bad touch, about consent, about a woman’s honour and dignity, about menstruation, about genitals, about sexual intercourse. Be the change you want to bring.
And girls we need to speak up when a guy even looks at us with disgust because that is where it all starts. Mock them, ridicule them, slap them. If you don’t do that today someone will have to pay its price tomorrow when this timid scoundrel turns into a beast, into a villain thinking that nobody can question him. Every time you ignore the situation, more confidence and power these rogues gain. Educated men as well need to understand the severity of this situation. They need to drop their nonchalant misogynist act and support us. They need to become the protectors and the providers they claim to be.
As a law student I read multiple rape cases, domestic violence cases, cases of grievous crimes against women and trust me when I say this my heart sinks every single time. I feel traumatized and I start questioning every man’s demeanor around me including that of my good friends and relatives- this is exactly what is not okay, I refuse to live with this fear because it consumes me completely but yet I am compelled to live with this fear all because of our society.
I wonder how many times have I barely escaped being raped…
A NCRB report reveals that 4,45,256 cases of crimes against women were filed in 2022 adding up to 51 cases every hour out of which about 71% crimes go unreported so the actual figures are way higher.
Few Rape cases that have sent shivers down my spine :
(you can click and read them but at your own discretion as these articles include mentions of sexual assault, bodily injuries and violence.)
Love the way you write 💗...... Darkest truths of India said well🖤